Tuesday 3 March 2009

COME ON GWINNIE!

i checked goop today.
I was feeling a bit low and reading that inane eejit's self-indulgent ramblings is a legitimate form of self-harm which doesn't lead to psychiatrists visiting you. Although the sense of shame and worthlessness it provokes seems more severe than psychiatric care, in my humble opinion.
However, i was shocked and saddened to discover that it hasn't been updated since before Valentine's Day!!
For fuck's sake!
What has happened?
Is the army of third world children who are specially trained in condesension and who may (or may not) write "her" blog, dead or worse?
Is Gwinnie lost for words?
Has she finally imparted the last of her valuable advice?
Has she had a bad macrobiotic shake and been incapacitated?
Has she finally been strangled, beaten and swallowed whole by her own smugness?
I DEMAND TO KNOW!
She can't leave us hanging like this. How will i continue to keep my chris martin - a -like husband happy and my friends jealous, without her guidance?
i don't know what to wear, what to eat or how to feel about my parenting.
i'm scared. i'm going to my room to straighten my hair, sing coldplay songs, pretend to talk to madonna on the phone and wait until she comes back.

1 comment:

The Scarlet Harlots.

The Scarlet Harlots.
A kick arse band from Birmingham. I invited them to Hastings, they came, we all had fun. Click on their pic to hear them....i recommend "A Secret"

Bend it, bend, just a little bit.............

What's that all about then? No curtains at the window, no dvds in the cupboard, Just a butt plug on the table. A sex squat. With an inflatable haemaphrodite frog sex pest. Count me out, thanks for asking.

Ain't it pretty?

Ain't it pretty?
imagine if you had to lick it.........